Why I still prefer Candle Services

I've had the photo for this entry in draft for nearly a month now. I finally wrote up the story of the photo for PHAW (Pre-Home Assignment Workshop) this week and though its not quite what I meant to write for my blog, it will do.

1981, 1982…, by 1983 I had begun to wonder if God would take my worthless life to free my husband for more fruitful service. Such strange thoughts are long behind me now. But as I flip through our photo albums the old snapshots bring it all back.

The Christmas I got left at home

I had planned to be a female Hudson Taylor, another Isabel Kuhn, but within months of leaving language school I was harboring the heretical thought: Does God really mean for a Christian’s life to be a round of endless meetings and busy-ness?

When we moved to Aomori I had thought, “At last, the real thing!” But with two toddlers in tow it looked a little different than I had imagined. The Sunday morning church service was one long struggle with 3 noisy, wiggly children. A really full church schedule no longer seemed desirable. In fact, I began to see the frantic side of church life and our third Christmas in Japan epitomized it all.

With a view to evangelizing as many people as possible the church had planned a large meeting with a buffet to which every possible contact was invited. I don’t remember the program but the numbers were truly impressive - so impressive that my friend and I didn’t get any dinner! I supposed it was all for the cause of Christ, but somehow it didn’t feel like it. I looked forward to the quiet Christmas Eve dinner for Church Family. When my senior colleagues announced that I should stay home to make room for seekers my despair deepened. It seemed I was definitely of marginal worth. Were the only people of value seekers and busy harvesters?

I suppose the light dawned more slowly, but I still remember the flash of insight that came a few Christmases later as I watched some missionary children perform an impromptu Christmas pageant and I saw my little daughters eyes sparkle as she gazed rapturously into the candlelight. There is definitely more to the Christian life than endless meetings and busyness. Christmas isn’t about what we do (even for Christ), but about what He does for us.