Halfway Down

Stairs are beautiful. All sorts of stairs. I just really love stairs! And stairwells! (A stairwell is a wonderful place to sing – especially if they echo.)

And so I took this photo last July for the Beauty in Every Day Life 30 Day Challenge… Day 19 “Every day object.” 

We had been working to clear these stairways on the Nakagawa River where we walk (every day, twice a day) when the weather is clement.

I love to sit on this stairway on a clear day watching the water run sparkling by…. And I love to sit there in the the dark with my husband beside me listening to the night sounds…

Ever since I was a child I have sat on stairs… and thought. Perhaps that’s the charm of A. A. Milne’s poem.

Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair
Where I sit.
There isn't any
Other stair
Quite like
It.
I'm not at the bottom, 
I'm not at the top;
So this is the stair
Where
I always
Stop.

- A. A. Milne

In the poem halfway up and halfway down is a good place – a thinking place. But in my life right now… I feel a little…  stuck. Not at the bottom, not at the top… thinking and thinking and not really getting free.

And so in the end, although I have thought up countless texts for that photo, I never wrote up any of them.

I never finished the 30 Day Challenge.

A few days ago I wrote “So much water under the bridge since this photo was taken a little over a year and a half ago... and that water floated us out of darkness into a very good place. I thank God for His great deliverance. "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, bless His holy name - and forget not all His benefits!" Psalm 103”

And it is absolutely true!

And yet, and yet…  what I wrote to a friend a few weeks ago is also true. “… most of the time I feel safe and useful and alive again. But I still have moments when I wonder if I will ever recover from those 2 years of limbo and …” 

Last summer was hard. Really hard. We had to vacation (3 weeks!) with a few of the people implicated by that “and” - I’m afraid it almost put me back at the imprecatory psalm stage!

Fortunately, autumn and my commencement to Hirosaki University Graduate School in October – as a fulltime student this time around – seemed to restore my equilibrium and on the whole I have been pretty happy.

But things have come up during the Christmas vacation that brought back memories of that awful feeling of being the caged dog…

This is not a good feeling. It is also not my present reality! But sometimes its hard to escape the shadows.

When we were casting about for this year’s motto I was drawn to Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts and the idea of counting – naming - blessings.)

But in the end we chose words from Fra Giovanni’s letter “Take Joy” written Christmas Eve, 1513. Perhaps it was those words “The gloom of the world is but a shadow.”

And to see, we have only to look.

I beseech you to look!

This year we will go on looking for the joy “within our reach.”

And yes, we will TAKE JOY!

The heart of the home

When Daughter # 3 went into the hospital last Thanksgiving her family moved back in with us for awhile.

I think that was God’s medicine for my sore heart. With two small boys always demanding attention I didn’t have time to indulge the sudden tears that still rise sometimes.

I’m afraid I resorted to screens though… 

Although we also enjoyed Jacquie Lawson’s virtual Advent Calendar – a friend’s gift to me – between Thanksgiving and Christmas the boys and I watched an astonishing number of Hallmark Christmas films.  

On the whole these movies were not memorable. And I finally decided I must be watching them for their themes of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Still, occasionally there was a line or two really worth remembering. I wish I’d had a pen ready the night we watched the one with that insightful line about how the kitchen table should be the heart of the home.

It is the heart of our home.

And I’m grateful for all the candlelit suppers we shared with the Okada family during the holiday season.

They’re back in their own home now. But the boys still join us every Saturday night. And we still light candles in the evening and sing in the morning.

Here we come Thy name to praise

Let us feel Thy presence near

May Thy glory meet our eyes

While we in Thy house appear

Here afford us Lord a taste

Of our everlasting feast….

- Safely Through Another Week

Fire and Water

This morning we sang again.

I always feel a bit chary of singing in a corner somewhere when there’s company and we’ve had company for several weeks now.

Well, not precisely company. Our two grandsons, our son-in-law and his company – a very helpful Frenchman.

But this afternoon my husband and I had a couple of hours alone and so we sang a few Psalms before we read together.

I love verse three of 66C:

Bless God, O peoples, sound His praise;

He who appoints our soul to live,

And keeps our feet from slipping.

As silver, God, You tested us,

Delivered us into a net,

Oppressed us with a burden.

Men rode o’er us;

We have gone through fire and water

By Your doing.

Yet you brought us out to freedom.

Its the title song on the first album I ever purchased from Crown and Covenant,“Through Fire and Water: Songs of Deliverance.”

So theoretically I could have learned it off the album. But that’s never worked for me – I have to see the notes!

Which is why from the moment I started thinking about Topic # 18 “Tools or Appliances” from the Beauty in EVERYday 30 Day Challenge that I’ve been (slowly!) working through, I immediately thought of the Psalms for Worship app on my tablet.

We have learned so many really beautiful songs using this tool – songs that have strengthened and enriched our lives.

Songs that brought to life the Psalms that helped us through the fire and water.

My Hand in God’s Hand

Did you ever wonder how Barak and Samson made that great roll of faithfuls in Hebrews 11? I mean, shouldn’t it be Deborah instead of Barak? And Samson?! Now that’s just…. unbelievable!

Or how about the Apostle Paul’s glowing words about Abraham

He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, Rom 4:19-20)

What does Paul mean “He did not weaken in faith” and “No unbelief made him waver”?

What about Hagar?!

The truth is, men never live up to their ideals – and God is GRACIOUS. Men are not always so gracious!

And yet, sometimes they are…. 

Tohoku JECA Pastors

How grateful I am for this group of local pastors - and how it warmed my heart to see them reach out their hands (literally) to my husband hoping to,

Strengthen the weak hands,

and make firm the feeble knees.

Say to those who have an anxious heart,

"Be strong; fear not!”

Isaiah 35:3-4

It is still hard to shed the anxiety (and sometimes terror) that has gripped us for so long.

We have to believe that God rules - and overrules.

Joseph told his brothers in Gen 50v20,   “God turned into good what you meant for evil.”  And the truth is we will never shed our anxious hearts until we believe this to be true in our lives – always true.

Often we don’t really know that those who have hurt us “meant it for evil”...   It is difficult to know the hearts of men and women.

But when we question motives, when things seem wrong, Joseph’s words ought to remind us that God allows even things that seem totally bad to us and (whether we understand and agree with the motive or not)  He can always use these “bad things” to bring about His good purposes.

But I need to be reminded:

…Therefore lift your drooping hands

and strengthen your weak knees,

and make straight paths for your feet,

so that what is lame may not be put out of joint

but rather be healed.

Hebrews 12:12-13

And we feel our hands in God’s hands as friends and colleagues reach out their hands (real and figurative) to us in love.

Better Than Perfume

Yesterday morning I was still in bed when the phone rang, “Daphne!”

Just the sound of her voice… and immediately I felt that everything would be alright. She’s always affected me that way.

The first time I met her I was a struggling new missionary in language school and wondering  (if I had only dared admit it) if I had just made the most colossal mistake of my life. I don’t remember the meeting now, only that Daphne slipped in in her Daphne way and as I listened to her I felt like fresh breeze had just broken into a stale and stuffy room.

She was so “real!”

A few years later when we both ended up in Aomori I often went out of my way to benefit from this “realness” – her great honesty and common sense.

I often tell people that when I was a young woman I “collected mothers” meaning, I suppose, that I sought out women my mother’s age to support me in the way my mother would have done if only she had been on the same continent (or in my case, island) instead of on the other side of the world.

There were a number of these women in my life, but no one quite like Daphne!

She’s in Australia now and probably approaching 90. (Her younger sister is over 85.) But I’m so glad she’s still in my life. Comforting. Encouraging. And still full of that “realness” – that honesty that first attracted me to her.

Perfume and incense bring joy to your heart.

And a friend is sweeter when (s)he gives you honest advice.  

  -Proverbs 27:9

For we are the aroma of Christ to God

…we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as (wo)men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.

-  2 Corinthians 2:15-17)

In the Shadow of His Wings – Don’t be Afraid!

I was going to write about “someone who loves me unconditionally” - that would probably be my dog!

But tonight I feel like Jem after the trial in “To Kill A Mockingbird” – socked in the gut by the injustice of it all.

“How could they do it, how could they?”

Today we received a dismissal from an organization to which I gave two thirds of my life. I want to argue my case. But no one is listening.

So I’m back to where I was in my May blogpost, begging God Himself to take up the shield and buckler and Our Defender be!

Ever since this morning when I woke to sun and the realization that Typhoon # 10 had passed us over, I have been thinking of Psalm 57:1

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,

for in you my soul takes refuge;

in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,

till the storms of destruction pass by.

All day I hoped the symbolism was significant – I harbored a great hope that the figurative storm was also past. This even though the “Atticus” in my life assures us that there will have to be a long and thorough process of calling to account – and years before we see justice.

He and others tell us that we need to get on with our lives. But I hardly know what my life is anymore.

I cry out to God Most High,

to God who fulfills his purpose for me.

He will send from heaven and save me;

He will put to shame him who tramples on me.

Selah.

God will send out his steadfast love

and his faithfulness!

Psalm 57:2-3

What is His purpose for us?   

I’m not sure yet – but we know that His purposes for us are good. And when we forget, our family and friends remind us with verses like this one:

So tonight we look to the Lord our Defender.

We look to the God who will be with us, who will neither fail nor abandon us.

We look to the Lifter of our Heads.

We look to You!

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress

I’ve been thinking about inner beauty for over a week now. And today as we watched “Wish You Well” (a film based on David Baldacci’s novel of the same name) I found it in the character “Louisa”.

Kind, wise, strong…  everything I want to be. Although maybe not the shotgun.

The storyline runs roughly along these lines:  famous author living in New York City (and writing about his boyhood home in mountains) is killed in a car crash so his family goes back home to live with Great-Grandma Louisa in the Appalachian Mountains of Virginia. Life is hard, and harder. However, Louisa shows them it still a good life – the mountains will take care of them.

Then the coal company comes to grab the land.

It was a good thinking story to keep our minds off the approaching typhoon – both the literal and the figurative.

But the story cut a little close to home after Louisa’s stroke – a stroke which leads ultimately to her death.

After her stroke the coal company goes for  Louisa’s land. The courtroom scene seemed to mirror a recent scene in my own life. It’s much like the courtroom scene in “To Kill a Mockingbird”:   although the defense lawyer presents a clear case, the jury remains unmoved. The children are stunned. “How could they?”

I was still contemplating the injustice of it all when a happy ending rolled by.

Because unlike “To Kill a Mockingbird” this miscarriage of justice ends happily. They lose in the courtroom, and Louisa dies, but Mama wakes up, marries the lawyer and they get to keep the land for reasons that escaped me.

I was still thinking about the courtroom scene.

And for some reason a phrase from an old hymn started playing through my head, “What more can He say than to you He hath said.”

We sang it at supper.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

And I thought about what He says to us:  Psalm 30, Psalm 35:1-6, Psalm 40:10-17, Psalm 85:1-7….  so many, many promises of mercy and vindication. A God who doesn’t shame!

I love the rest of the hymn:

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

…

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

…

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

…

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

It’s so easy to be frightened, dismayed and I so often need to be reassured that though the water may be deep we won’t drown, and though trials are fiery the fire won’t hurt us. He won’t desert us to our foes!

But tonight the part that really touched us was the thought that He will actually BLESS our troubles and sanctify to us our deepest distress.

Yes, Lord! Do!

Our eyes are on You – shine Your face upon us.

Making the World Beautiful

The green at Takayama where our grandchildren played this summer is very beautiful these days - a far cry from the soggy, mosquito ridden bog our older children played in years ago.

It’s the work of my friend Wendy who, like the Lupin Lady, is busy making the world – or at least the Takayama corner of it - more beautiful. Wendy does it with hydrangeas and willow trees.

Although not the work of her hands there many other improvements for which she should probably get some credit.

The Store

The Chapel

She’s done what I always wanted to do – made Takayama more beautiful.

But I think what I love best about her is how she loves our kids. Everybody’s kids really. But I’m especially grateful for how she’s been there for my kids when I couldn’t be.

And been there for me, too.

I like the NIrV translation of Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times.

He is there to help when trouble comes.

Counting it All Joy

All week I’ve been thinking about my pastor – the pastor of my childhood. The man my husband says has been my measure ever since.

He always looked into your eyes – even if you were a child – and LISTENED.

And his smile. It gave – and still gives – a person courage.

Pastor Ted Ekholm

I’ve been thinking about him because if ever there was a man who could “count it all joy” it’s Pastor Ekholm.

Aging and all its attendant trials just seem to make him sweeter. And sweeter is what my husband and I have been aiming at.

The other night we prayed, yet again,

Dear God, we want both to flourish – and bear fruit! – in our old age. We want to be fresh and flourishing and seen as fresh and flourishing so that when people look at us they will know that God is still upright.

We don’t think we can be accused of running from the refining process BUT we haven’t been allowing ourselves to grow sweeter!

Its pretty hard to keep that sweet spirit – but it must be possible. I see it in my pastor. And I want to be like him!

And I take comfort in the benediction he used to pray over us:

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling,

and to present you faultless

before the presence of his glory

with exceeding joy,

To the only wise God our Saviour,

be glory and majesty, dominion and power,

both now and ever. Amen.    

-Jude 1:24-25

The Power of Memories to Sustain

For several weeks now I have been thinking about the power of memories to sustain. There is a particular story that I have been trying to find – so far without success.

It begins with children flying kites on a beautiful sunny day in some European village. A golden, unforgettable day when mothers threw off their aprons and fathers set aside their work to join the children in the joy of watching the kites sail high above in all that blue.

Months pass, maybe years pass and the village is ravaged by a horrible world war. The writer of the story is incarcerated somewhere and during the long months of suffering he is sustained by the memory of that golden day when the village spontaneously threw everything aside to watch the kites.

At last the war ends and people begin to share their stories and to his surprise, he is not the only one who has been sustained by the memory of that golden day.

What is the memory that sustained me through the long months?

I have thought and thought. And I keep coming back to the moment when Daughter # 4 and I stood gazing at the new bookshelf holding my books for the program of study I would have to abandon in my exile.

The young man who custom made the bookshelf for me had so many difficulties and heartaches in life. But he also had a talent for woodworking and that bookshelf was to me a precious work of art, full of promise. For as my daughter and I stood there praying the thought came to me that perhaps the newly finished bookshelf was God’s way of saying, “I will bring you back.”

The memory of the bookshelf and that moment sustained me through months – many months - when I felt I was in the middle of a vast and trackless ocean of uncertainty and so completely without moorings that I wondered if I would ever have a life again.

Daughter, home … bookshelf!

I don’t know where you are J.L. But I thank God for you. For the bookshelf.

I lost so much that I loved yet God has brought me back to children, home and bookshelf.

I still hope for the study.

Love and Fear

This morning we read Psalms 1, 25, 40, 52 and 66.These are among our favorites. 

But today I was particularly struck by Psalm 25:15.

I feel caught in a trap.

Psalm 66 also talks about traps.

66C verse 3

Bless God, O peoples, sound His praise;

He who appoints our soul to live.

And keeps our feet from slipping.

As silver, God; you tested us.

Delivered us into the net,

Oppressed us with a burden.

Men rode over us;

We have gone through fire and water

By your doing.

Yet You brought us forth in freedom.

Fear is a powerful emotion. A woman (man) trapped will say/do some pretty awful things.

I have said some pretty awful things.

Psalm 66 says God delivered us into the net – to test us.  I feel I fail so often. How can I pass the test? Psalm 25:15 says by keeping my eyes on the LORD.

But to be honest I think most of us can’t stay this focused during times of testing without encouragement.

How I thank God for every hug, every look or word of encouragement. So grateful for my Japanese colleagues here in Aomori and for how God loved me through them last week.

Love – another strong emotion – casts out fear.

There is no fear in love,

but perfect love casts out fear.

For fear has to do with punishment,

and whoever fears

has not been perfected in love. 

1John 4:18

A Place of Abundance

I was not in a good place today and this morning’s Bible readings really resonated. Psalm 27, Psalm 35, etc. In fact, I wanted to stand on a hill somewhere where I could shout to heaven, “Brandish spear and javelin…”  et cetera.

But instead I called someone who always points me back to God and His Sovereignty.

“You need to find your sufficiency in God, not people. It’s time for you to give not receive.” 

Ouch!

So I bought a chocolate bar, made a cup of tea and worked (a little) on letting go of my old life. I did not go out to garden in the rain. (His other suggestion.)

Tonight I’ve been looking at verses about abundance. God’s abundant goodness, grace, provision, peace and security. But I think the verses I liked best were these:

Bless our God, O peoples;

let the sound of his praise be heard,

who has kept our soul among the living

and has not let our feet slip.

For you, O God, have tested us;

you have tried us as silver is tried.

 

You brought us into the net;

you laid a crushing burden on our backs;

you let men ride over our heads;

we went through fire and through water;

 

YET you have brought us out

to a place of ABUNDANCE.

Psalm 66:8-12

We are still in the net and men are riding over our heads but one of these days He will bring us out of the net into a place of ABUNDANCE.

Yet even now God is blessing us.

A world of grief and pain

Flowers bloom

Even then.

“That Look”

How did I – a vehement dog hater – end up loving a devoted little dog of my own?

The long answer is very long and some of it is chronicled in this blog. (Just type “Yae” into the search bar at the top left.)

But the short answer is that she always looks at me with that trusting expectant look that makes me think of these words we often sing:

² As to her lady’s hand

A slave girl turns her face,

So we look to the LORD our God

That he might show us grace.

- 123A (ST. MICHAEL)

My husband wants to know why she always looks to me even if he feeds her more often. I think its because I discipline her, give her longer walks – and, quite frankly, I respond to that look of adoration.

There is a spiritual parallel, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”  James 4:8

 

As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master,

as the eyes of a female slave look to the hand of her mistress,

so our eyes look to the LORD our God,

till he shows us his mercy.

Have mercy on us, LORD, have mercy on us,

for we have endured no end of contempt.

-- Psalm 123:2-3

My Comfort

I used to tell people that I married my husband because he promised me a rocking chair. And over the years he has given me/made me a number of rocking chairs.

My Favorite Rocking Chair – Made by John

There is something terribly comforting about the rhythmic rocking.

Although it didn’t work out exactly the way I anticipated with my babies. I had always pictured myself in the middle of the night gazing fondly down at Baby after having soothed my little cherub with rocking and a lullaby. But this proved purely fantasy!

I quickly learned  that in reality what my babies wanted from me was mother’s milk. Rocking and lullabies were relatively inconsequential!

I found new meaning in the words of Psalm 131:

But I have calmed and quieted myself,

I am like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child I am content.
Psalm 131:2

My babies are all grown now but I still find comfort in my rocking chair – and in God who “tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”    Isaiah 40:11

When I feel injustice pressing in I can still say, Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 63:7

A Continual Feast

Today Pastor Nakagawa’s message (from Genesis 35, “Return to Bethel”) was very good. I produced something like 15 pages of notes for our daughter’s WWOOFer. Rather interactive I’m afraid – I was doing a lot of reflecting.

I was particularly struck by one of his final points.

Summing up his theme – we will never be without troubles in this life – he cited Proverbs 15:15.

Pastor Nakagawa pointed out that we want to think that there are two kinds of people - those who have it easy and those who have it hard. But that isn’t the case. We all experience both trial and blessing.  Often at the same time!

It brought to mind another verse I’ve been thinking about lately. “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” Psalm 23:5.

Even in times of affliction life is a rich feast. We just need to partake.

A Beautiful Thought

My husband is a farmer’s son. He looks looks at bare dirt and sees the harvests past and the harvests to come.

I on the other hand look at dirt – and see barrenness. There’s nothing there! And I don’t like it. Maybe this is because my mother mulched. In her BEAUTIFUL gardens I don’t remember even the hint of bare dirt.

Perhaps that’s why to find any beauty in dirt today was a bit of a challenge at first.

I took this photo of a fallow field next door to our son’s house. But I wasn’t sure what to say.  I didn’t quite know how to find the beauty in all that bare dirt.

Until I remembered this:

When a farmer plows for planting,

does he plow continually?

Does he keep on breaking up and working the soil?

When he has leveled the surface,

does he not sow caraway and scatter cumin?

Does he not plant wheat in its place,

barley in its plot,

and spelt in its field?

His God instructs him and teaches him the right way.

 

Caraway is not threshed with a sledge,

nor is the wheel of a cart rolled over cumin;

caraway is beaten out with a rod,

and cumin with a stick.

Grain must be ground to make bread;

so one does not go on threshing it forever.

The wheels of a threshing cart may be rolled over it,

but one does not use horses to grind grain.

All this also comes from the LORD Almighty,

whose plan is wonderful,

whose wisdom is magnificent.

- Isaiah 28:24-29

Does the farmer plow the dirt continually? Is grain threshed forever? Does God’s judgment continue indefinitely?

No! It does not!

God tells those He judges, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Surely He will make us fruitful again.

Now that is a BEAUTIFUL thought!

The Lord is Your Shade

The LORD watches over you--

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm--

he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121:5-8

The River Bears All Away

The moonlight is shining so brightly tonight. I wish I was sitting with my husband by the river in the moonlight.

We usually walk morning and evening along the river.

There’s something peaceful about a river.

Twice in the book of Isaiah there’s a reference to to this:  “your peace would have been like a river” (Isaiah 48:18) and “I will extend peace to her like a river” (Isaiah 66:12).

That powerful old hymn “It Is Well With My Soul” begins “When peace like a river attendeth my way…  “

Tonight I’ve been thinking about the third verse:

My sin oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part, but the whole, 
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more;
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

I remember when one of my students years ago was overcome by the symbolism of the crucifixion scene in the movie “Ben Hur”. We watched in awed silence the scene where Jesus hangs on the cross and it begins to rain. But as the rain mingled with Jesus’ blood and flowed into the river my student began to exclaim over the wonder of it. Our sins are borne away – like the river!

Glorious thought indeed!

Down By The River

This is a stairway down to the Nakamura River. I’m not sure now of the number but there are perhaps 6. We cleared this one a few years ago and I had hoped to go on to clear them all. However, we left Ajigasawa unexpectedly not long after we completed clearing this one.

When we finally arrived back this spring after a long absence this one was already silted in again at the bottom.

So we cleared it - again.

I love sitting here in the sunshine. Or sometimes the moonlight. And thinking. Or talking quietly. Or, more often, just staring.

At night we can hear the soft quacking of the ducks. Today there was a kingfisher – rather plain until he flew and then he showed a brilliant turquoise.

And most of all I love the river. Sparkling in the sunlight. Or the moonlight. Unless the day is dull or the night is dark. And then we just stand and listen to the sound of the water.

Today we brought a grandson along.

And he sat there with us quietly playing with the dog and watching the river slip by.

Then we set out to find the other stairways. All but one had disappeared under the brush and willow trees that have sprung up in the silt.

We finally found one – but only one.

It kind of reminded me of our lives, our churches.

We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. - Hebrews 2:1

There is so much beauty in the every day life of a believer, a church- and we light the way for others – but when we stop giving careful attention to the Word, we drift away or perhaps we’re just gradually buried!

“Rotenburo”

During the months we stayed with family in my hometown my husband and I walked (several miles) to “the lake” nearly every day.

We sat and stared – a long time - across the water…

or ice…

And then we lay on the grass or snow and stared at the sky. And sometimes at night we heard the coyotes howling. Or the ice cracking.

It was so very centering. Nothing in my North American experience was as healing at that lake.

Definitely a favorite place!

But what is my favorite place here on the other side of the world?

There’s Takayama – which my sister says we love because it reminds of us our hometown and the lake. I’m not sure how exactly, since its salt water and pine trees. But she’s right somehow.

But Takayama is a long way from my everyday life.

There is a special place along the Nakamura River, where we walk the dog. We cleared one of the sets of stairs going down from the rice fields to the river and when we walk along the river we always pause for a few moments to sit and stare – much like we did at “the lake.”

But in these days of uncertainty when we are so often elsewhere I realized that the place I go back to center is usually the “rotenburo” – that is the outdoor bath.

At Suigun no Yado (in Ajigasawa) the bath is shaped like a boat and built of fragrant wood. The water is pleasantly salty – it’s from a real hot spring. There is a little garden – softly lighted at night – at which to gaze. Definitely BEAUTIFUL.

I often feel, on the other hand, that the water at the bath house in Aomori City which we frequent most nights is a long way from the hot spring from whence it claims to originate! The outdoor bath is made of old cement and there is no pleasant garden to gaze at.

So why do I like it so much? Why do I go every night? Why do I find it so centering?

I think the thing all these places have in common is the sky. Lying there looking up at the vastness of the sky I realize my place in the universe. I am so small and God is so big. Yet I am not forgotten. I am loved.

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one

and calls forth each of them by name.

…

Why do you complain, Jacob?

Why do you say, Israel,

"My way is hidden from the LORD;

my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know? Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

- Isaiah 40:26-29