Saturday, December 29, 2012

Our secret to long lasting marriage

... I wanted to express that the time of eating together is such a happy moment. The family members in this film are quite different and distant from each other, but whenever they get closer I use food as an element that binds them together.

- Naoko Ogigimi per Film International

Yesterday was our 37th wedding anniversary and being long on time (Christmas vacation) but short on cash (end of the year) we celebrated by watching another weird Naoko Ogigimi film. We like her films but I think most Westerners outside of Japan would find them …  a little strange. The film, “Toilet” was so entirely bizarre that even I squirmed a bit.

The movie did, however, remind me of the importance of eating together in our marriage. I am so glad that from the beginning we made it a rule that meals together were a non-negotiable… 

Even breakfast. A few days before we married my mother gave me this advice: “You can go back to bed after your husband goes to work. But don’t ever make him eat breakfast alone.”

No TV, no newspaper, no texting…  nothing that hinders giving each other full attention.

Ogigimi went on to say that,  “this happy moment will not last forever – that it is completely futile. Also, making food is usually very time-consuming, but then it is eaten in just a few minutes.

She’s right that the moment will not last forever and that food is consumed in considerably less time than it takes to make it. And yet I believe she’s quite wrong about the futility of it.

The time spent in making and eating food together is time spent forging a bond that lasts much longer than the food.


Making Chinese Dumplings With Grandkids

We married young and discovered we were more selfish and foolish than we had thought. But meal by meal we forged bonds –and 37 years later I believe it was worth it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Amen to that!