No Shortcuts

This was too good not to share!

"The most delicate and critical element of a deep relationship is trust, and there is absolutely no way of arriving at trust overnight. And so it is obvious that there are no shortcuts. That is why thoughtful adults, who have watched sadly and helplessly while young people try these shortcuts, conclude that sex experience before confidentiality, empathy and trust have been established can hinder, and may actually destroy, the possibility of a solid, permanent relationship.

"Sexual acts between a man and a woman probably do not remain meaningful for any appreciable length of time outside marriage. It is the intent behind the legal ceremony of marriage that provides continuity to the sexual relationship, gives it meaning and validity, turns it into something to develop, to deepen, to protect and to sacrifice for. In the repeated sexual act within marriage, a man and a woman are saying to each other, "I chose you once above all others, and now I choose you again. I'll choose you tomorrow and next year and the year after that and when we're 40 or 50 or 60 and neither of us is any longer so attractive.

"For herein lies the key: marriage is not something imposed by society or religion - far from it. Marriage is a state freely and consciously and joyfully sought by men and women. It is an elective state. What is the secret of the highly constant polarity of most human beings toward this relationship? The answer is that only within the self-sought marriage bond can two people create for themselves the security of peace and solitude and time - lifetime - by which they can accomplish that which is pivotal and central to all else, namely, total communion. "

-from There Are No Shortcuts to Marriage by Mary Steichen Calderone, M.D.

It kind of reminds me of some of the issues Luke has discussed on his blogs Gaijin for Life and Luke and Yuko's Wedding .

Beginning a lifetime of trust!