Learning the Hard Way

I wish for more Elinors in my world - people with the good sense to exert themselves to behave honorably and with restraint from the beginning. The selfish Willoughbys are perhaps, without a work of spiritual regeneration, beyond hope. But the Mariannes can and do come to their senses eventually - when they cease their pity party.

Elinor: "Do you compare your conduct to his?"

Marianne: "No. I compare it to what it ought to have been; I compare it to yours.

.... My illness has made me think -- It has given me leisure and calmness for serious recollection. Long before I was recovered enough to talk, I was perfectly able to reflect.

... you above all, ... had been wronged by me. I, and only I, knew your heart and its sorrows; yet, to what did it influence me? not to any compassion that could benefit you or myself. -- Your example was before me: but to what avail? --Was I more considerate of you and your comfort? Did I imitate your forbearance?

... No; not less when I knew you to be unhappy, than when I had believed you to be at ease, did I turn away from every exertion of duty or friendship; scarcely allowing sorrow to exist but with me, regretting only that heart which had deserted and wronged me, and leaving you, for whom I professed an unbounded affection to be miserable for my sake."

It seems like the Mariannes usually learn the hard way...

But why should we learn the hard way when there is an easier way?! (I Corinthians 10:6 - 13) When we have the example of those who have gone before us and when, above all, we have the Holy Spirit to help us? Why torture oneself unnecessarily?