Our daily morning walk

We walk every morning along the river, but don't usually take photos. However, Luke & Yuko's visits bring out the camera, so here we are... walking.

Setting out...

Sometimes we have a really good view of Mount Iwaki

- but this day the peak was hidden in the clouds.

During this season we see blue heron (can you see it?),

egrets, hawks, crows, and mallards.

Later this winter, the swans will fly down from Siberia.

We can barely see church and house

far across the rice fields under the cut in the hill.

I love the wild flowers.

And of course, we do this all for our dog! :-) Not really!

But she makes a good excuse!

Good, old-fashioned time

I've been reading editorials from Books & Culture this week and I can't resist quoting from Jean Bethke Elshtain's "With or Against Culture":

... we should be alarmed by a social milieu where children are treated instrumentally, where pacification of children rather than care and attention to each child in his and her particularity becomes a social norm. We are against this. What are we for? Minimally, we are for taking a hard look at how children are faring in our society. That, in turn, can spur transformation, especially in what I have called "the politics of time." Good, old-fashioned time is what so many children need. How can a society that pretends to be child-centered justify culturally approved neglect? It goes without saying that neglect comes in many forms: tens of thousands of privileged children are neglected in the way I am noting here.

I love that sentence "Good, old-fashioned time is what so many children need." How often I've thought that same thought!

G.K.Chesterton

I've been sitting on one of the best quotations from Os Guinness because I meant to write a column on G.K.Chesterton. But time keeps flowing on... So perhaps I'd better just quote him.

"At least five times, " G.K.Chesterton noted, "the Faith has to all appearances gone to the dogs. In each of these five cases, it was the dog that died."

G.K.Chesterton

I think I first bumped into Chesterton while reading C.S.Lewis. But so many of my favorite authors quote him. (He's so quotable!) I think my favorite is this excerpt from Jean Staker Garton's "Who Broke the Baby?"

"An imbecile habit" was the way G.K.Chesterton described the contemporary view which believes that a creed held in one age cannot be held in another... In contradiction Chesterton argued:

"'You might as well say that a certain philosophy can be believed Mondays, but cannot be believed on Tuesdays. You might as well say of a view of the cosmos that it was suitable to half-past three, but not suitable to half-past four. What a man can believe depends on his philosophy, not on the clock or the century. If a man believes in an unalterable natural law, he cannot believe in any miracles in any age. If a man believes in a will behind law, he can believe any miracle in any age... Therefore in dealing with any historical answer, the point is not whether it was given in our time, but whether it was given in answer to our question.'"

First Impressions

Its been a LONG time since we arrived in Japan 27 years ago. My first impressions faded long ago. And, since I had a two year old and a baby and a very bad case of culture shock - two kids in diapers and no dryer! no car! no central heating! - I didn't have time for diary. So its kind of interesting to watch Joy.

Mary Elliot & Joyanne Baab

She's full of the same enthusiasm and purpose as I was 27 years ago. Just without the extra baggage and quite a few years younger. I was twenty-three turning twenty-four, married with two kids. Joy's seventeen going on eighteen.

She borrowed my camera two days after she got here and this is what she snapped with it. (It all looks very normal to me now! But I might have taken the same photos 27 years ago if I'd had email and a digital camera.)

Squid

Mary's the cook this year so we eat Japanese style most meals

Rice, miso soup and fish for breakfast

Take off your shoes!

You can't really see how deep the tub is in this photo.

(We had my favorite stainless steel tub

- until we discovered the foundation rot.)

Our Japanese toilet. (By choice!)

Straw mat (tatami) floors

Futon (bed) on the floor

(If any of Joy's family are reading this, she's now cleaned her room and packed away the suitcases.)

More Birthdays

My nephew Aaron's birthday is the day after mine. So we partied several days running.

Aaron's 17th Birthday marked by cake...

Presents, balloons,etc

And, of course, family! (Bethany Ghent & Mary Elliot)

It's been a long time since my nephew gave me these prayer requests but I think they still hold. (Are you there, Aaron? You can addend changes if you like!)

1. That I will be able to concentrate while I study at home, so that I won't daydream. (He's homeschooling for high school.)
2. That I will keep contact with my Japanese friends and invite them to church, so that eventually they will be saved!
3. That I will grow spiritually.

And I do pray for him - that he will become a true man of God, faithful to the very end.

Rights of Passage - I want a Personal Retreat

51rst Birthday Party

I turned 51 this year. I had a nice birthday party but otherwise turning 51 wasn't really a very remarkable milestone - I thought I was 51 already! A quick calculation proved otherwise. I don't mind. But 50 was also quite rather unremarkable - and I did want that to be a little special.

My Unremarkable 50th

Afterall, shouldn't there be some right of passage for passing half a century?! I wanted to celebrate by looking back and by looking forward. I wanted to have a "Personal Retreat". I did actually try... I sat on the porch looking over Matsushima Bay (not a bad idea in theory) and used these instructions but it was too hurried and much too much like "going through the steps"...

So this year I want to try again.

Someway, somehow I want to mark 50 years of life. And I want to try the personal retreat thing again in a way more suited to reflection.

Definitive Quotations

I realize that I did not necessarily choose the most definitive quotation when I wrote my last entry - I chose instead what spoke to me. But when I tried to find the definitive quotation I couldn't quite narrow it down.

So here is a not-quite random selection:

p. 78 ... the recent Christian pursuit of relevance has all too often led to transience... Many years ago, Dean Inge of St. Paul's Cathedral in London remarked, in words that could be the epitaph for many trendy church leaders, "He who marries the spirit of the age soon becomes a widower."

p. 79 As the French writer Charles Peguy wrote a century ago, "It will never be known what acts of cowardice have been motivated by the fear of not looking sufficiently progressive."

p. 104 Or as Winston Churchill wrote simply in words that go a long way to explain his farsightedness as an unheeded messenger, "The further back you can look, the further forward you can see."

p. 106 The fact is that nothing is finally relevant except in relation to the true and the eternal. Unless something is true, its perspective will at some point be wrong and its practical value in the end will be nil. Only truth and eternity give relevance to "relevance."

p. 112 For Weil was right: It takes the eternal to guarantee the relevant; only the repeated touch of the timeless will keep us truly timely.

What I read on the airplane...

As many lonely and embattled Christians know in our own day, it can be strenuous and demanding to live before an Audience of One. Making unpopular stands or speaking uncomfortable words on his behalf can be painful to the point
of anguish.

- Os Guinness

I just finished rereading Os Guinness' book, Prophetic Untimeliness: A Challenge to the Idol of Revelance. I read it the first time on the airplane coming back to Japan and it gripped me so deeply that I read the entire book on that flight. (Its the first time I didn't watch a stream of useless movies on the trans-Pacific flight.)

Quiet Time Family Tradition

Something interesting from came from WOLKOREA  the other day: 

 

While at WOL, Bonnie Keegan from Australia gave me a good idea. She said they were in a home where each morning the father got up before everyone else. He then prepared a small tray for each member of the family with their preference of coffee or tea alongside a couple pieces of chocolate. It was delivered to their room for them to enjoy while they had their Quiet Time. The kids and I have done that for the past few days. It is especially nice for those who have a hard time getting up and who need a little something in their system right away. I did it the first morning with Anna and Benjamin. Daniel said he wanted some chocolate, too. I said it was only for those who have their Quiet Time:) Can you guess what Daniel is doing each morning now?:)  May 19, '06 10:29 PM

 

It's a little late for us to try it now - the only kids we have left at home, inspired by a speaker at summer camp,  have been having their devotions for years now - but I thought this was too good an idea to file without noting.

We Demand the Truth of What is There

'We tend to give the impression that we will hold on to the outward forms whatever happens, even if God really is not there. But the opposite ought to be true of us, so that people can see that we demand the truth of what is there and that we are not dealing merely with platitudes. In other words, it should be understood that we take this question of truth and personality so seriously that if God were not there, we would be among the first to have the courage to step out of the queue.' - Francis Schaeffer (From his book, "The God Who Is There")

The loss of clear thinking

We've been on the road and (mostly) offline since April 18th and ever since I started New Brunswick I've noticed a disturbing trend that I couldn't quite put my finger on...

 

Today as I cast about our host family's basement for a good read my eyes lit on John MacArthur's "The Power of Integrity: Building a Life Without Compromise" and something twigged. I think this quote from page 43 pretty well captures my initial impression:

Mindlessness is virtually equated with godliness in the modern church. The video age has swamped us, and the result is the loss of clear thinking with more sound bites, i.e., little bits of information (we even have longer "infomercials"now) which will move the will almost directly without prompting serious reflection and thought. Preaching, if we can still even call it that, is aimed at being short, relevant.... and moving. Modern worshipers (?) do not want to think; they want to feel something, and to take away something which will help them cope with fast-paced, busy modern life.

Since then we have some good visits with many of our prayer partners and I realize that, mercifully, not everyone buys into this trend! But to say I was deeply disturbed that first week would be an understatement.

In 1886 Already?!

How else can one explain the comment of a Japanese business man to a visiting Australian, "Whenever I meet a Buddhist leader, I meet a holy man. Whenever I meet a Christian leader, I meet a manager."  - Os Guinness

 

I've been re-reading one of my favorite books, Os Guinness' Dining With The Devil, and I think I am just as moved this time as last time.

 

"In 1886, Nation magazine reported:  "Indeed, so far has the church caught the spirit of the age, so far has it become a business enterprise, that the chief test of ministerial success is now the ability to 'build up' a church. Executive, managerial abilities are now considered more in demand than those which used to be considered the highest in a clergyman."  - Os Guinness

 

What happened to holiness?

 

Moving frustrations!

TUESDAY ... "I'm on my way up to Mary's to help her pack and move out of her apartment. We are beginning to get frazzled! Today I got lost on my way to the visa office, missed my ferry, found the visa office - just in time to find out that for once they let John do it without me(!), gave blood, nearly missed my ferry the second time because when I stopped to pick up some food and take my photo (for my Emergency Travel Document) I left my money in the car. ...sigh... I made the ferry by the skin of my teeth - handing the photos over to John as I drove on - and now I am FERRY SICK!"

WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY... packing! Thursday night we phoned John and asked him to come help us - neither of Mary or I know how to tie knots (to make it all stay on the truck.)

FRIDAY... I drove up just as John's ferry arrived. Then I helplessly watched the boat go out and in and out and in for the next hour - the wind kept blowing them away from the dock wishing all the while that I could contact poor Mary to let her know what was happening. We had told the phone company they could cut Mary's service in the morning and my cell phone died last month. (A cell phone would have made this whole week a whole lot easier!)

Nevertheless, despite our troubles, we did finally get Mary safely moved out! And we even spent a pleasant hour at our favorite coffee shop overlooking Hakodate Bay before catching the ferry back to Aomori.

How Book Leads on to Book

I have always loved how one book leads on to another book. Last night I was rereading one of my all time favorite books, Mind Renewal in a Mindless Age, and really noticed, perhaps for the first time, his mention of "a helpful little book by John Stott, the Rector Emeritus of All Souls Church in London. It is titled Your Mind Matters."

"Stott argues that 'anti-intellectualism... is... part of the fashion of the world and therefore a form of worldliness. To denigrate the mind is to undermine the foundational Christian doctrines.' He asks pointedly, 'Has God created us rational beings, and shall we deny our humanity which he has given us? Has God spoken to us and shall we not listen to his words? Has God renewed our mind through Christ, and shall we not think with it? Is God going to judge us by his Word, and shall we not be wise and build our house upon this rock?'"

I like that: "Has God renewed our mind through Christ, and shall we not think with it?"

I ordered that "helpful little book" first thing this morning!

Setting the record straight

My mother thinks I was mistaken about my Grandmother's pink cookies:

I wonder if my mother turned over in her grave when you wrote that her ginger cookies were slabs. They were made in the shapes of gingerbread men, stars, circles with fluted egdes, halfmoons, and many other shapes but never, never slabs. For that matter I never made them in slabs either. Believe me on this one. I grew up with those cookies and help make them and frost them many, many,many times and never were they slabs. My mother was not that kind of person---to cut corners. She was a perfectionist!! She made the refridgerator cookies that were slabs but they were supposed to bethat way. Perhaps you were thinking of those.

We talked about it on the phone and finally decided that maybe I am remembering diamond shapes.

My perfectionist Grandmother Leta Sabin Trepal

She died thirty-five years ago, but in a funny way I still miss my Grandmother. I want to eat pink cookies and ask her to tell me again all the stories no one else seems to remember.

I want to complain

I upgraded my Office software - and lost my address book. This would be unmitigated disaster if I didn't have most of the info stored in MS Outlook contacts. As it is its a mitigated disaster. I use Outlook Express for my mail client and I dislike MS Outlook so strongly that after three weeks of limping along I still can't bring myself to use it for anything but prayer letters. I have to use it for that - the groupings don't transfer with the addresses. (Neither do birthdays.)

Why oh why didn't they mention in the ads that Office 2003 doesn't support the shared address book?!

My daughter tried to tell me that I just needed to learn how to use it. But after 3 weeks I'm of the same opinion still - I should have stuck with Office 2000. The gains of upgrading were miniscule whereas my losses were devastating.

I like to see the BIG picture and anytime my view is restricted I feel claustrophobic. I want to scream. When I work with the Outlook address book (my Outlook Express address book was completely wiped out) and the new Clipart Gallery I feel like I'm looking through a keyhole. I wondered why this doesn't bother the people who made it. But after consulting a few of our computer guru friends I decided that this is because they don't use address books and clip art!

Twice I've been asked why I want to use the address book anyway. If you don't know I can't tell you. <> Suffice to say, I'm very unhappy.

I'm also missing semi-vital information. All the the web page links were in the side of my address book that got wiped clean! So were any notes that were put in from the Outlook Express side.

Now that I've vented my spleen perhaps I get on with the business of finding how Romans 8:28 applies to my computer life. (And my friends can send me their web page links!)

With the Measure You Use

Today we covered lots of old ground in our sessions and the section on "Generosity" was definitely old ground - or at least it should have been - but it moved me in a new way. Which all goes to show, its sometimes worth recovering old ground!

The textbook notes were brief:

One expecially relevant principle to study is that of generosity. Generosity is a key indicator of our trust in God. Generosity is an expression of faith that is uniquely blessed by God.

• Luke 6:38 "For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
• Proverbs 11:25 "... he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."
• Proverbs 22:9 "A generous man will himself be blessed..."
• Proverbs 19:17 "He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and He will reward him..."
• Malachi 3:8-12 "Test me in this... and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven..."

CONCLUSION:

Philippians 4:12 - We are to be content.

Philippians 4:17 - Our focus should not be on getting support as much as giving partners an opportunity for blessing.

Philippians 4:19 - Ultimately God is our Source - not our methods, not our partners, not our own hands.

Luke 6:38 We should be generous.

I'm still thinking about the questions, especially that last one: What are attitudes and actions that need changing if any? It's old ground and I do aim at generosity... but I wonder how often I hit it?! I think I need to start using a larger measure.

Just a Little Snow!

We had a brief respite from the snow last week. John did a lot of shoveling right up until we flew out on Monday morning for a workshop down in Chiba. (We usually say "Tokyo" - that appellation encompasses for us the entire black hole of Tokyo's long reach.)

John on the roof at home

When we arrived it felt like spring! But yesterday it actually snowed. Just a little skiff and even that half melted over night.

Imagine our surprise today at Chapel of the Adoration when the unusually low attendence today was attributed to the snow. In Aomori most of us attend church even if we have to brave a raging blizzard. I guess my sister's right. It's all a question of perspective!

Tokyo's Show Stopping Snow

It was kind of hard to sympathize!

We're now half way through OMF's 10 day Pre-Home Assignment Workshop. (Also known as PHAW.) I attended the first work shop 6 years ago and dragged John a long to this one. So many of our favorite colleagues are here that I think he's forgotten that he didn't want to go when I first suggested it. However, it's a little more work than I remembered!

Lecture with facilitator Bryan Thompson

I had thought I would catch up on the mail - at long last! And maybe hunt up a few friends and my Russian teacher (who just moved down at Christmas.) But I'm finding the homework assignments a bit stiff - lots of writing which should be fun for me but somehow isn't ...

Workshop facilitators Wendy Gerster and Barry Potter

But its still a refreshing break - an opportunity to rethink ministry on both sides of world. Its a time to regain perspective.

Be Thinkers

I'm in the middle of reading Wild Swans - yet again! - and I'm definitely a one track reader, but tonight I'm tempted to take up my husband's habit of reading several books at the same time. I want to start in on another round of Jane Austen.

Tonight was the opening night for "Pride and Prejudice and we just came back from the Late Show. (The only show we can afford.) It was rather late for analyzation and deep discussion, although Sarah Anne certainly tried. It was such a very different presentation of our favorite book... GORGEOUS scenery, beautiful music, some fairly well done characterizations. But I think they kind of skimped on the dialogue - I missed that Jane Austen wit.

It was particularly interesting after listening to Jerram Barrs lecture on Jane Austen just last night. We logged onto www.bethinking.org for the first time this week. Among the many interesting offerings our favorites were four lectures of Jerram Barr's on: Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Tolkien and Harry Potter.

Its much too late at night for blogging...

Why I still prefer Candle Services

I've had the photo for this entry in draft for nearly a month now. I finally wrote up the story of the photo for PHAW (Pre-Home Assignment Workshop) this week and though its not quite what I meant to write for my blog, it will do.

1981, 1982…, by 1983 I had begun to wonder if God would take my worthless life to free my husband for more fruitful service. Such strange thoughts are long behind me now. But as I flip through our photo albums the old snapshots bring it all back.

The Christmas I got left at home

I had planned to be a female Hudson Taylor, another Isabel Kuhn, but within months of leaving language school I was harboring the heretical thought: Does God really mean for a Christian’s life to be a round of endless meetings and busy-ness?

When we moved to Aomori I had thought, “At last, the real thing!” But with two toddlers in tow it looked a little different than I had imagined. The Sunday morning church service was one long struggle with 3 noisy, wiggly children. A really full church schedule no longer seemed desirable. In fact, I began to see the frantic side of church life and our third Christmas in Japan epitomized it all.

With a view to evangelizing as many people as possible the church had planned a large meeting with a buffet to which every possible contact was invited. I don’t remember the program but the numbers were truly impressive - so impressive that my friend and I didn’t get any dinner! I supposed it was all for the cause of Christ, but somehow it didn’t feel like it. I looked forward to the quiet Christmas Eve dinner for Church Family. When my senior colleagues announced that I should stay home to make room for seekers my despair deepened. It seemed I was definitely of marginal worth. Were the only people of value seekers and busy harvesters?

I suppose the light dawned more slowly, but I still remember the flash of insight that came a few Christmases later as I watched some missionary children perform an impromptu Christmas pageant and I saw my little daughters eyes sparkle as she gazed rapturously into the candlelight. There is definitely more to the Christian life than endless meetings and busyness. Christmas isn’t about what we do (even for Christ), but about what He does for us.

Carnations in Winter

I read old Reader's Digests in the tub. Of course, now that they've bought into the present trend in media geared for people with the attention span of an ant I don't find it nearly as satisfying as it used to be. I don't even really read it any more - I just glance through. Sad, but this way I'm rarely tempted to stay in the bath too long!

So I was glancing through an old issue last night when my eyes lit on these words:

"Smell is a potent wizard

that transports us across a thousand miles

and all the years we have lived."

- Helen Keller

Somehow I thought immediately of carnations in winter... and I was indeed transported across the miles and down the years. I saw our wedding cake - that must have been the first time I ever really SAW a carnation. Then in another split second I found I'd traveled down the years, through all our anniversaries, to the almost tropical smell of the florist shop, the fragrance of carnations in a cold car - we foolishly married during the Christmas vacation - and memories of licking cream cheese frosting off the carnations... so many, many memories bound up in just that one fragrance!

December 27, 1975

(Notice the influence of Zefferelli's "Romeo & Juliet")

It's now 30 years since my first experience of carnations. I could be Churchillish and say thirty years of "blood, sweat and tears". That might be a bit melodramatic, but I would like to point out that if I'd held to the current views of my generation we would have called it quits rather early on. And that would be sad because it's definitely been worth it all!

For our anniversary this year I put together a slide show - threw together might be more acurate(!) since my energies were directed toward the 9 Lessons and Carols - of the highlights of those 30 years which we presented on Christmas day after the English worship service in Itayanagi. (If you want to see the slides click HERE.)

Abby sang, Sarah made a cake which wasn't quite on the scale of my sister's masterpieces but still quite delicious, and Yuko bought flowers (including carnations) to publicly mark God's gracious preservation of our union so far.

Mary, Yuko, Luke & Sarah wishing us a "Happy Anniversary"

(On the 27th John and I celebrated privately at Sendai Korona World with an Onsen and Kaiten Sushi.)

Moving Tradition

Other Elliot Christmas Traditions include... sushi and presents on Christmas Eve and breakfast in our stockings on Christmas morning. But traditions move and change with time and circumstance and with Christmas falling on a Sunday there obviously wasn't going to be any time for a leisurely breakfast on Sunday. (My husband had to preach at the 8 AM service in Goshogawara as well as the 10:30 AM service in Ajigasawa and the 6:30 PM service in Itayanagi.) So we moved it all forward and had our sushi - temaki sushi this year - afterwe got home from the Christmas Party at Goshogawara Church on the 3rd.

Sarah, Yuko & Luke, Shirley, Huan Huan, Abby, John, Mary, me and John

I think we originally started eating sushi because it was fast. We had to get to church and our kids were hungry, so I ran next door to the 24 hour convenience store and grabbed what looked the tastiest and easiest. (Instant noodles were out of the question.) Then we ate and ran.

The Christmas Eve we ate sushi (1980)

After the kids started leaving

but before we started having "extras".

Somewhere along the line it started having very little to do with convenience and everything to do with feeling like Christmas.

As for breakfast in our Christmas stockings... John's little sister gave Luke and Anna Christmas stockings but with no Santa Claus tradition I was a bit flummoxed. We didn't want to ignore her gift but we weren't about to introduce Santa just to use the stockings. I don't know what made me think of breakfast... maybe because morning is the traditional time for stockings. But its been breakfast ever since. But Sarah fills the stockings now.

No Pink Cookies

How do traditions get started anyway? My family did not make Christmas cookies. My mother didn't believe in cookies - or desserts in general - and although she did make some concessions to Christmas she didn't go in big for traditions. We always had a tree - although it didn't often materialize much before Christmas Eve and my mother generally tried to take it down the day after Christmas. And we did have Advent Candles and a Birthday Cake for Jesus - largely, I think, because my mother tried it one year and we kids decided it was "tradition".

So why does Ajigasawa Church decorate its tree with real cookies no matter how busy the season? I think it started with my Grandmother's pink cookies...

But our cookies now

are a LONG way from Grandma's Pink Cookies!

My Grandma made (very) soft molasses cookies frosted with anise flavored pink icing and cut in slabs. She made them a lot. But I guess the recipe died with her. My cousin's wife, hearing how much I liked them, tried to make them for our wedding dinner on the 27th of December, 1975. (Hence the Christmas connection. My Grandmother was more likely to make them for the 4th of July picnic.) But they just didn't taste like Grandma's Pink Cookies... For the next 10 years I spent my Christmases trying new gingerbread cookie recipes. Quite silly really as I imagine my Grandmother cut slabs because the cookies couldn't hold their shape ... and just imagine hanging pink slabs on the Christmas tree! But I guess by this time I was heavily influenced by Tasha Tudor.

Christmas Cookies in the mid 1980s

After many years I gave up trying and now I just make Spice Cookies because they're softer than most the gingerbread recipes I tried and - more to the point - I never seem to have any molasses in the house come Christmas. (I order molasses from Tokyo.)

Then my daughters rebelled against the anise icing. So we are now a long way from Pink Cookies. But as, my mother would say "come hell or high water" (or is that deep snow?!) we still have cookies every year. "Its tradition!"

Sarah, Sachimi, Shion and Ayaka cutting the cookies.

STWs, John Orme and Shirley Ku, stringing the cookies

Our Sarah strings the last cookies

while Sarah Heidebrecht looks on.

Ayaka, Shirley, Sachimi, Shion and John

9 Lessons and Carols

I don't remember what I was talking about with my (Irish) friend last spring that she told me about "9 Lessons and Carols" but it stuck. So this year the Christmas Service for the (English) evening service in Itayanagi on the 25th will be "9 Lessons and Carols". I'm putting it on PowerPoint and getting lots "oohing and ahhhing" from my husband who thinks its beautiful - but I'm beginning to feel that its A LOT of work. And I am very tired.

 

Anyway, on Sunday night before the service in Itayanagi we're having dinner by candlelight at 5:30 pm. It's the Elliots turn so we're making Sweet Economy Casserole because its pasta but I like it better than the spaghetti we had for our wedding rehearsal 30 years ago.

 

And then at 6:30 pm the Carol Service followed by our 30th wedding Anniversary Celebration.

 

If you have never heard of 9 Lessons and Carols see:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_Lessons_and_Carols

Ginger and Garlic (alias Poor Man's Penicillin)

Sarah was sick last night. Really sick. I actually took her to the hospital. (Dehydration in the aftermath.) So today we ate ginger and garlic. In fact, I don't think I've ever eaten quite so much garlic and ginger in one meal in my life as we ate tonight. We must smell like (very) ripe kimchi.

Sarah's feeling better. :-) Now if the rest of us can just stay healthy.

It gets shorter every year!

Listening to Sarah explain Messiah to her cousin, Aaron, Sunday evening I was reminded of Luke's comment "Handel’s Messiah is by far my favorite vehicle for reviewing and reflecting on these prophesies and promises." And looking at Aaron's intent face as he gave her his full attention, I was reminded of why I never pandered to juvenile tastes when the kids were young. (My philosophy was always, Give them the "real thing".) I love the look on their faces when children encounter something really big and wonderful.

It wasn't always easy. When I first took my kids to "Messiah for the first time I was alone with 4 kids between the ages of 10 and 3 and sitting in the front row. They were not quiet little mice. They wiggled and squirmed. It was a long 2 1/2 hours! But it was worth it. I was in heaven... and they were mildly interested. I went again the next year. We were in North America for Christmas 1989. But after that we never missed a year. I brought all 5 kids every year.

As we were that first year!

They didn't always love it. For many years I brought Sarah muttering and squirming in protest. But now says she doesn't want a funeral when she dies, she just wants them to sing the entire "Messiah" in her memory.

Once they stopped selling "Family" tickets it got expensive - but it was worth every yen.

Handel's "Messiah"

Today, December 18th, 2006, at 3pm we sing Handel's "Messiah" at Gijuku High School. It's my favourite part of Christmas - Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without this concert.

Last year's concert was in the Shimin Hall. Sarah sang last year and she's been singing all year. But today she's going to listen. (And Mary is going to sing.)

Mr. Kumaki at last night's practice. I think he lives and breathes "Messiah".

Cats in Winter

John often says he want to be a cat in front of the stove in winter.

But can this really be comfortable?!

Masa's Baptism

Yesterday was Masa's baptism. We've been praying a long time for some male church members. I must admit - I had a different type of man in mind! But Paul said "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things ... " So I suppose this is God's way of working.

Masa is in the white sweat shirt

Zechariah 4:6

Thanksgiving Potluck

Over the years most people who have come to church events have come by personal invitation. There are notable exceptions. In fact, almost all members of the church were exceptions to this rule... But still, in a town where family ties are binding it usually takes more than an ad in the mailbox to bring someone!. So, when we came back from Leta's wedding just 3 days before Aji Church's annual Thanksgiving Potluck, I hardly knew how to pray for the Thanksgiving Potluck this year.

Neither John nor I did much in the way of inviting folk. If I had been entirely earnest about it, I suppose I could have emailed all my friends and contacts from America. Or maybe sent them post cards. I even considered it... But in the end I decided in favor of being wholly involved with where I was at the moment.

I had however been reading about the difference between our work and the work of God's Holy Spirit. (More on that later.) So when it was my turn to pray - in our house we all pray together every morning - I asked God to let us see His power by bringing some people from an "unexpected quarter".

And he did!

9 HIGH SCHOOL BOYS

You could argue that I might have expected it since one of the boys (the one in red) showed up at Thanksgiving last year with a few of his friends. But 9?! of them! I consider my prayer answered!

There weren't any hundreds of people there. But a backslider came for the first time since this time last year - and brought her mother. And two of Sarah's friends showed up on very short notice. My friend from Russian class, the one I went to Russia with and who told us at last month's meeting that she'd "never been so sad before" (her best friend died after a year battling with cancer) came even though she'd just gotten a leaflet in her post box.

It was GOOD meeting. And, even if it was only me, someone saw the power of God.

That week something wonderful happened every day. But its been so busy that I didn't have time to post. I'm busy today, too. Sarah H. (see her baptism post) is coming, and then another friend is coming for supper, and I can hear Angela downstairs in the kitchen. Later tonight I have to go out for a couple of hours - a goodbye party for our Russian teacher. So who knows when I'll get back to it. But maybe, just maybe, I'll write it all down.

More on Commitment

"A true friend is someone who is there for you

when he'd rather be anywhere else."

- Len Wein

Why Marry First?

Jet Lag is the pits, but I guess waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning does give me time to reflect. And this morning after laying there for awhile reflecting about my daughter's marriage versus the cohabitation habits of her peers, I finally got up and did a search for the Reader's Digest article I wanted to send to young Mr. Yanagi and company after the seminar John and I did for university students a year ago last summer.

I didn't find that, but I found a number of articles that, while lacking the neat columns of statistics, did point out "that cohabitation itself was shown to account for a higher divorce rate, rather than factors that might have led to cohabitation, such as parental divorce, age at marriage, stepchildren, religion, and other factors. In other words, other factors being equal, you are much more likely to divorce if you live together first." That's from Living Together Before Marriage Letter # 2 - an article which also suggests that "If you like to spend your evenings hidden among the periodicals of your local library, here are some other studies that show how risky it is to live together before marriage."

I had never heard of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers, but Living Together — a Cart Before a Horse - statistics show that living together before marriage does not necessarily lead to happy marriages - guidelines are included - Brief Article wasn't the only reference I found. "A careful review of the available social-science evidence suggests that living together is not a good way to prepare for marriage or to avoid divorce," write sociologists David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe White, who are directors of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, which is devoted to the study of the state of our unions.

The Inertia Hypothesis: Sliding vs. Deciding in the Development of Risk for Couples in Marriage was my favorite - though a bit dry for the general public I imagine. It reads like a thesis - maybe it is? - but in among all those quotations and bibliographies it has some pretty good hypotheses.

The best find was an article published by the National Marriage Project itself, SHOULD WE LIVE TOGETHER? What Young Adults Need to Know about Cohabitation before Marriage "We offer four principles that may help. These principles may not be the last words on the subject but they are consistent with the available evidence and seem most likely to help never-married young adults avoid painful losses in their love lives and achieve satisfying and long-lasting relationships and marriage."

l. Consider not living together at all before marriage. Cohabitation appears not to be helpful and may be harmful as a try-out for marriage. There is no evidence that if you decide to cohabit before marriage you will have a stronger marriage than those who don't live together, and some evidence to suggest that if you live together before marriage, you are more likely to break up after marriage. Cohabitation is probably least harmful (though not necessarily helpful) when it is prenuptial - when both partners are definitely planning to marry, have formally announced their engagement and have picked a wedding date.

2. Do not make a habit of cohabiting. Be aware of the dangers of multiple living together experiences, both for your own sense of well-being and for your chances of establishing a strong lifelong partnership. Contrary to popular wisdom, you do not learn to have better relationships from multiple failed cohabiting relationships. In fact, multiple cohabiting is a strong predictor of the failure of future relationships.

3. Limit cohabitation to the shortest possible period of time. The longer you live together with a partner, the more likely it is that the low-commitment ethic of cohabitation will take hold, the opposite of what is required for a successful marriage.

4. Do not cohabit if children are involved. Children need and should have parents who are committed to staying together over the long term. Cohabiting parents break up at a much higher rate than married parents and the effects of breakup can be devastating and often long lasting. Moreover, children living in cohabiting unions are at higher risk of sexual abuse and physical violence, including lethal violence, than are children living with married parents.

Well, that's all my middle-the-night-research this time. And now that its finally time to wake up I'm beginning to feel tired again... <> Jet Lag is the pits!

Commitment

I had thought of doing a blow by blow description of my trip to California, the Tak interviews and finally the wedding. But only got as far as trying out the mail-in-posting system - hence the rather random choice for my last entry. Or maybe not so random... I had some rather startling news while I was in California that made Jane Austen seemed rather apt.

But in the end there was just too much to write about. So I will skip California entirely and trust that as far as the wedding is concerned a photo or two is indeed worth a thousand words.

Sarah made the wedding dress

and Aunt Ruth Mae made the cake

The bride and groom don't have money, a car, a house, or a job lined up after the groom's graduation. But they do have the one thing that most young people seem to lack - COMMITMENT. And personally, I think that is the only thing that really counts. After 30 years we should know - the only thing we had when we married was a car!

Jun & Anna, Mary, Sarah, Leta & Adam, Mom & Dad, Yuko & Luke

I think all my wonderful cousins and their friends had fun pulling off this wedding - they called it "the chocolate wedding" - and we Elliots certainly enjoyed it. I've posted our small, rather amateurish selection of wedding photos at Image Station. (The "real photos" haven't arrived yet.)

Facing Temptation

"Laws and principles are not for times when there is no temptation: they are for moments such as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth, so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe now, it is because I am insane, quite insane, with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count the throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations are all I have at this hour to stand by; there I plant my foot."

--From Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre

Finally!

Our new unit bath is in - almost. John still hasn't fixed the doorway. But the flooring is back down in the hallway. I'm leaving for America tomorrow. But when I have a few minutes - and internet access! - I want to write about my heros... they struggle with messy houses like I do.

Our new unit bath

It's too shallow! (Too American?!)